Willow’s Mom Here,

Princess Pants is sacked out enjoying the A/C with her typist Blaise (the good cat) and the Golden Girls. We don’t know where Bor-Ass (the bad cat) is and in this house that is a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Not that we don’t love him but, he’s not called the “bad cat” for no reason. He’s here somewhere. They’re both house cats and never go out but, as he was/is basically feral, contact is minimal. It works. He has a lovely safe home, we have peace. Oddly, he loves the dogs just not terribly stable temperament with humans and very aloof.

As for the week we’ve had, I don’t even know where to begin. We had the ultimate “Do Not Pet” experience when the guy at the restaurant decided to pet me instead of Willow. Followed by his incredibly helpful friend “offering to be my service dog”….Yes, they were somewhat under the influence of alcohol. This has now prompted me to start carrying an e-collar in my purse in case I get an offer like that again! I can just pull it out and say “okay buddy, put this on, let’s go!”..lol I’ve decided I could individually train him to perform tasks such as vacuuming (I tend to fall while cleaning), Yard work (same), all the things Willow can’t do or I can’t do well even with Willow. It’s perfect!:)

The other thing that really took me aback was during a training session with a Fire Department. One of the things we review is why you don’t separate a service dog from its handler if at all possible. I explained the bond, that they’re essential partners to us and our life and well-being. I also said as we always do that they’re not pets. They’re not. They’re more than that. However, I think because when people see a handler and a service dog working and they hear that statement they have a hard time comprehending the love that exists. When we’re out working, we’re a team as I’ve explained in my blog post titled the same. It becomes a seamless effort to work in concert to go about our daily lives. It has to or at least it should, to really work well. We’re not oohing and aahing over our dogs every minute of every day. if we were, we’d never get anything done and quite frankly, the dog would be distracted. Remember, we are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, does this mean our service dogs aren’t loved? lol…Dear God NO! They are cherished!!!! Do they get massaged when they get home or sometimes even just in the car? You bet! Do they sleep on you?! ummm, yes. Do they lay in your lap while watching TV? All the time. But, when they’re working, they’re working just like everyone else. It’s not the time for baby talk, in their face, kissy noise. Do they get positive feedback? Yes! Of course! Would you work well if you didn’t? However, there is a vast difference between “great job, good girl” and a quick pat or kiss and falling all over them with the same exuberance you do at home or with your pets after a long day at work. Remember, we’re trying to move through our day and get things done. Dr. appointments, grocery shopping, quick trips to CVS that end up taking an hour, everything everyone else does that doesn’t need a service dog and with a disability and a service dog, it’s already more challenging.

This all came from a question a person asked about Willow and what was going to happen when I would have to retire her. Trying my very best not to burst into tears ( thank god I take Valium daily for spasms) I explained she would retire at home with me. Ideally, a new service dog would be transitioned in. “Is that fair to the dog?’ he asked. ” I mean, you said you already have two other dogs”. Yes, I explained. I do. Yes, I also explained this was an extremely difficult topic for all service dog handlers but one we all know we have to face. Wondering if his concern arose about my ability to care for my animals, I explained that I have a rather unique situation in terms of a support system for animal care so that was not a concern. He kept on pushing that he felt it “unfair” that her “working life” was so limited given her life expectancy. Swallowing hard I tried to take into consideration that he had remarked that he had a failing dog of his own and I believe it was influencing his remarks. Still, I was becoming irritated as I could see that the bond and the love we share seemed to escape him. He didn’t seem to understand that the thought of losing this, my most beloved partner, was actually something more than I could process. He continued to press on.  Finally, I said “look, I didn’t wake up one morning and say gee, I’d love to have MS along with a couple of other issues. I have a progressive disease. It’s the hand I was dealt. I had two choices. I could lay in a bed and wait for some ass to come by and throw dirt on me OR I could get up and avail myself of the options available like Willow to allow myself to be as productive as possible”. “As with all things, there are negatives and positives. In this case, the positives, outweigh the negatives”. “Does that answer your question?” He shook his head yes and we moved on 🙂

When I reflected on the exchange, I was flooded with emotion initially. In public, we do have to display a professional appearance. It took every once of strength I had not to burst into tears during this exchange. However, I did realize that people probably do have a misconception still that our service dogs are simply “working stock” and not the beloved, treasured, partners that they are. Who in fact, are showered with affection when appropriate like at home or in the car or when sleeping on top of you. Think about it, would you work tirelessly for someone you weren’t devoted to? And believe me the hours suck and the pay is horrible so it truly is an act of love….

And I couldn’t love HER more 🙂

~Willow’s Mom (TGIF!)