I often say that our Service Dogs are not pets. They’re actually MORE than pets. They are our life partners. They provide tasks and support that enable us, as disabled persons, to live our lives as independently as possible and do so safely. They also are unique in that we are never separated from them. This creates a bond like no other. Think about it, you are not with a spouse 24 x 7, a child or anyone or anything else. You are however, with your Service Dog 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You rely on them and they on you. You know every nuance of their personality and they yours.

Enter other people. Hopefully, you are surrounded by a great group of loving and supportive friends and family. Some readily accept your Service Dog, others may struggle with the importance of their role in your life. You can only educate and hope for the best.

We are incredibly fortunate to have the most supportive group of friends around us. We are also so blessed to have people who truly do “get it.” Nothing warms my heart more than to hear “No, you can’t pet her. Even I can’t pet her right now because she’s working and I’m her Auntie.” Or the extremely reserved friend that almost “threw down” with someone at a fair when he exclaimed “why bring her in public if you can’t pet her?!” That was priceless.

However, sometimes even the most well meaning people often struggle with the true role and bond of our Service dogs. I’d like to address those. These are the people who LOVE your dog but, don’t seem to love the rules. Maybe they think the rules don’t apply to them or we’re too strict with our Service Dogs. I’m not really sure. What I do know is this. Only I know what you may or may not do with my Service Dog at any given time as she is MY partner. MY lifeline. When I say for example, “Please don’t pet her, she’s working.” I actually DO mean it. Even though you may know her and yes, she loves you, right now her focus needs to be on me. Should she become distracted, I could be injured. Treats? “She’s not allowed to have treats.” “Oh, that’s mean. Let her have just one.” NO!!!! A Service Dog with diarrhea is a disaster. It means I can’t go anywhere until it resolves.  It may actually mean I miss a very much needed doctor appointment. So yes, it actually IS a big deal. I and I alone, decide what my Service Dog may consume. “Why can’t I just give her one little piece of bread?” Said while actually in a restaurant. Well, two reasons. One, see above. Two, Service Dogs (in my opinion) should NEVER be fed in public while their handler is eating. They are to “disappear” under or next to the table. The same applies to petting them while they are laying quietly out in public. They are still working! I’ve even heard from other handler’s the classic of the well meaning friend warning off others from petting their Service Dog, while actually petting the Service Dog.

I could continue with examples but, I believe I’ve made my point. Only we, our Service Dog’s handler and partner may say what is or is not allowed.We ask that you respect that. Only we actually know our partners every look, groan, “smile”, and nuance. Only we share every minute both awake and sleeping with our partners. And only we rely on our partners to navigate our daily living. When we ask that rules be followed, we’re not being “overly restrictive.” It’s also not personal. It’s simply that we know what our partners needs are as well as our own.

So Please, don’t……….

Service Dog Fraud is a topic we’ve addressed before. We’ve addressed here, on FaceBook, when we educate, when we speak to people and yet it persists. It is a complicated problem. The websites that offer to “certify” your dog, some even will “certify” your disability! C’mon! Seriously?

In some cases (I hope) it’s simply a lack of understanding of what a Service Dog truly is. The definition is: A dog that has been INDIVIDUALLY TRAINED to perform work or tasks for a PERSON WITH A DISABILITY. Got that? First, that dog has to have been trained for YOU the person with a DISABILITY. That means YOU ARE DISABLED. Not injured, not feeling blue, not lonely, not wanting to have your dog with you, DISABLED!

Why am I so “ferocious” about this? Let me explain, yet again. First, for those of us that are disabled it is actually insulting that someone would take this so lightly. We did not choose to wake up one day and say “Hey! Disability looks like a fun path, let’s go that way.” No, disability found us. usually sneaking up, sometimes more abruptly in the form of a trauma but, we did not have a choice. I’ve yet to meet the disabled person who says “Oh yeah, I was cool with it from the beginning.” No, it’s a process of acceptance and adjustment. You have to learn to live your life in different ways. For those of us with progressive disease, you are continually learning to adjust to new challenges. You are always “accepting”. Always adjusting. You do not get the “choice” to simply “take off” your disability as you would a Service Dog vest. Nor, are you simply going to recover as you will from an injury.

Second, Service Dog Fraud undermines the legitimate Service Dogs and all the work done by so many to ensure access for those of us who are DISABLED and do rely on our Service Dogs for our daily living. I DO NOT WALK without Willow! I now even use her to pull a wheelchair if needed. Fake Service Dogs are often poorly behaved and can give businesses the impression that all Service Dogs are ill behaved making access issues even more difficult. Furthermore, these fake Service Dogs put legitimate Service Dogs and their handlers as well as the public at risk. Should a fake Service Dog attack or distract a legitimate Service Dog while it’s working, the handler could become injured. Should the Service Dog become injured, that person’s partner that they rely on has now been sidelined and may even have to be retired. The impact of that is far reaching. The cost alone to replace a Service Dog averages nationally between $20k-$50k for a Guide Dog. The wait lists? 2-5 years. The emotional cost of losing your beloved partner? Far beyond measure.

“But, I only do it occasionally and ‘Buddy’ is very well trained”. The minute you put “Buddy” in a Service Dog vest knowing he is not a Service Dog and YOU ARE NOT DISABLED you are part of the problem! You are also committing fraud. You are obtaining rights under title III of the ADA to which you are not entitled. Period. There is no “wiggle room”, no discussion, nada. You’re not disabled, you don’t do it. Got it? “But, I just need him for a few days”. NO! Disability and injury are not the same thing! Are you disabled?! The minute “Sally” does it, then her friend thinks well, it must be okay so I can do it too if I want to take my dog somewhere. And so it goes…..

Again, and I will be very blunt here, count your incredibly lucky stars that you are not disabled if you are not. Being disabled totally sucks! Do you adapt? Yes! Can you lead a great life? Yes! Do you wish everyday you could go back to the days before you were disabled? You bet your ass!!!!!

Don’t misunderstand, I am incredibly grateful for the life I have especially with Willow. I am able to do things and be independent but, it is because of Willow that’s true. Service Dog fraud is a huge problem that actually has impacted us and needs to be stopped. Again, it’s a complicated problem and it won’t be solved overnight but, ANY abuse or contribution should NOT be tolerated. It simply contributes to the problem and certainly does NOT contribute to the solution.

In the words of Former First Lady, Nancy Regan…”Just Say NO” 🙂

Addendum: In many states Service Dog Fraud is actually a criminal offense. It should be in every state!

~Willow’s Mom

The Story of Willow and how we came to be a team has so many interesting components. The process of applying for and then waiting for your “match” is an interesting “ride” to be sure. For us, it also came with another match. For it was at Service Dog Project that I met my beloved “partner in crime” and partner in Dames with Danes as we came to be known, Renee Le Verrier. This is that story……

In the beginning of my journey of getting a service dog, I was still quite unsure. Unsure of many things. Did I really belong here? Was it really time? Was this the right decision? One of the things Service Dog Project encourages is to come and spend time at the farm. I did. Initially, I sat quietly in the tea tent and observed other recipients, applicants, volunteers, the dogs, all I could. One day, as I was sitting there I noticed this very striking woman sitting in front of me. she was gorgeous. she emitted peace. I didn’t notice the HUGE dog at her feet right away. I had no idea she was a recipient. What I did notice was she had these amazing arms. She was “ripped!” and it was impressive. I leaned forward, tapped her on the shoulder and said…..”hey, where’d you get those arms?” A bit taken aback, she paused for a moment to process what I had said then answered “boxing and yoga”. “Seriously?” I replied, I couldn’t believe it. I proceeded to compliment her as they truly are impressive arms! They are the arms every woman dreams of having. No hanging flab to ” wave” as you wave, no “scrawniness” either. These were arms to covet. We began chatting and I soon learned the large dog curled at her feet was her Service Dog. What?! Yes. I then proceeded to launch into a myriad of questions about her Service Dog. How does he help you? What was the process like? What happened when you first brought him home? The list was long. I had found my “person”. Being Renee and the ever patient person she is, she answered all my questions and it was a great discussion. From that day forward Renee and I became fast friends eventually forming our education collaboration and the rest is, well history.  What still puzzled me though, was here was this incredible woman with these amazing arms who was in fantastic shape. What was her diagnosis? .

Renee, has Parkinson’s. Young onset Parkinson’s diagnosed in 2003. Being the amazing woman she is, she had developed LIM (less is more) yoga for people with Parkinson’s and started Boxing. She also does so much more. Turns out, exercise is incredibly beneficial for people with Parkinson’s. I’ve learned a lot about Parkinson’s because of Renee. I wish I didn’t have to because that would mean Parkinson’s wouldn’t have touched my friend but it did. It also touches so many other people everyday.

During the course of a conversation she and I were having recently, the topic came up as did a compelling question she had been asked.

“What would you say to Parkinson’s if you met it face to face?” The answer, was even more compelling and actually kept me up all night. “Don’t touch my son” she had answered and with that in my mind flashed the image of Renee as the protective mother, in her boxing gloves, with….THOSE ARMS! I spent that night playing that image and the conversation over and over in my head. Parkinson’s had already touched my friend. It continues to touch too many people. I’d always threatened to put “those arms” on a billboard maybe I could put them somewhere else? Maybe, I could make use of “those arms”. A video! A frantic text, then call to Renee and we were off. I’m sure she was dubious at first. Remember, I’m not the creative half of this team. We did what we always do. Sat down, called on friends for their talents and resources (Thank you Mark Amirault, Greg Gheb, Al Latulippe, Andy Meyer and Pedro!). Made her poor son’s head spin as he listened to us try and plan what we wanted to do, drove her husband nuts as we rushed to fit our project in before the move and yet….we did it.

To bring more awareness to Parkinson’s, the effects of exercise on the symptoms of Parkinson’s and hopefully so that Parkinson’s will NOT touch her son or anyone else as we try find more answers we made the following video.There are some great resources listed at the end.

Please watch and feel free to copy and share the link. It’s about awareness.

Because my message for Parkinson’s? Don’t touch her son or anyone’s child. You touched my friend and now I’m gunning for you!

http://www.limyoga.com/wpblog/2015/09/08/what-would-you-say/

Yes, Ms. Pants was present and oh so helpful during the shooting of the video as evidenced by the photos…:)

~Willow’s Mom

As our second anniversary approaches, I have been reflecting on just how much my “Princess Pants” has changed my life. I decided to write her a letter and tell her…

Dear Willow,

Who knew that skinny girl up on the hill would save my life? You did. From the moment I walked in your pen and you locked on my eyes with “that look”, you knew. I’d heard the stories of your HOD, how you’d fought and rallied and survived. I knew you were an incredibly special girl but, I had no idea how special. From our first training outings to the time you first came home you showed such incredible love and patience with me. Let’s be honest, I was not an easy choice. I was still struggling with so many things. Yet you, stood rock steady at my side ready to take on the world with me.

During these two years you have taught me so very much. You’ve taught me to listen to you. For you know better than I when I’m having a bad day. You’ve taught me patience. To be patient with myself when I’m having a hard time and you gently remind me or steadfastly brace for me. Always with a kiss and a tail wag if I’m getting up from a fall as if to say “it’s okay, we’ll move on now”. You’ve taught me to embrace my life again. You are so very skilled and brilliant yet so funny at just the right times.

With you by my side my dear Willow, I am safe. I can walk without the fear of falling. If I do fall, you are there to help me up. You are a partner like no other. You chose to devote your life to me and you work by my side each day always happy to do so. You endure so many things and yet, you still wag your tail each time I ask you to “get dressed” to put on your working harness. When I open my eyes at night and see you looking back at me, I realize how truly blessed I am.  I’ll never fully be able to express the depth of gratitude, admiration and love I have for you. I can only try each day to continue to tell you, love you and provide you with the best possible “creature comforts” and care. Please know sweet Willow, without you my life would not be as it is. I always say, “My life will never be same as before MS but, because of Willow in some ways it’s actually better”. That, my precious Monkey Pants, says it all.

Love You To The Moon And Back,

Mom

Willow’s Mom Here,

Princess Pants is sacked out enjoying the A/C with her typist Blaise (the good cat) and the Golden Girls. We don’t know where Bor-Ass (the bad cat) is and in this house that is a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Not that we don’t love him but, he’s not called the “bad cat” for no reason. He’s here somewhere. They’re both house cats and never go out but, as he was/is basically feral, contact is minimal. It works. He has a lovely safe home, we have peace. Oddly, he loves the dogs just not terribly stable temperament with humans and very aloof.

As for the week we’ve had, I don’t even know where to begin. We had the ultimate “Do Not Pet” experience when the guy at the restaurant decided to pet me instead of Willow. Followed by his incredibly helpful friend “offering to be my service dog”….Yes, they were somewhat under the influence of alcohol. This has now prompted me to start carrying an e-collar in my purse in case I get an offer like that again! I can just pull it out and say “okay buddy, put this on, let’s go!”..lol I’ve decided I could individually train him to perform tasks such as vacuuming (I tend to fall while cleaning), Yard work (same), all the things Willow can’t do or I can’t do well even with Willow. It’s perfect!:)

The other thing that really took me aback was during a training session with a Fire Department. One of the things we review is why you don’t separate a service dog from its handler if at all possible. I explained the bond, that they’re essential partners to us and our life and well-being. I also said as we always do that they’re not pets. They’re not. They’re more than that. However, I think because when people see a handler and a service dog working and they hear that statement they have a hard time comprehending the love that exists. When we’re out working, we’re a team as I’ve explained in my blog post titled the same. It becomes a seamless effort to work in concert to go about our daily lives. It has to or at least it should, to really work well. We’re not oohing and aahing over our dogs every minute of every day. if we were, we’d never get anything done and quite frankly, the dog would be distracted. Remember, we are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, does this mean our service dogs aren’t loved? lol…Dear God NO! They are cherished!!!! Do they get massaged when they get home or sometimes even just in the car? You bet! Do they sleep on you?! ummm, yes. Do they lay in your lap while watching TV? All the time. But, when they’re working, they’re working just like everyone else. It’s not the time for baby talk, in their face, kissy noise. Do they get positive feedback? Yes! Of course! Would you work well if you didn’t? However, there is a vast difference between “great job, good girl” and a quick pat or kiss and falling all over them with the same exuberance you do at home or with your pets after a long day at work. Remember, we’re trying to move through our day and get things done. Dr. appointments, grocery shopping, quick trips to CVS that end up taking an hour, everything everyone else does that doesn’t need a service dog and with a disability and a service dog, it’s already more challenging.

This all came from a question a person asked about Willow and what was going to happen when I would have to retire her. Trying my very best not to burst into tears ( thank god I take Valium daily for spasms) I explained she would retire at home with me. Ideally, a new service dog would be transitioned in. “Is that fair to the dog?’ he asked. ” I mean, you said you already have two other dogs”. Yes, I explained. I do. Yes, I also explained this was an extremely difficult topic for all service dog handlers but one we all know we have to face. Wondering if his concern arose about my ability to care for my animals, I explained that I have a rather unique situation in terms of a support system for animal care so that was not a concern. He kept on pushing that he felt it “unfair” that her “working life” was so limited given her life expectancy. Swallowing hard I tried to take into consideration that he had remarked that he had a failing dog of his own and I believe it was influencing his remarks. Still, I was becoming irritated as I could see that the bond and the love we share seemed to escape him. He didn’t seem to understand that the thought of losing this, my most beloved partner, was actually something more than I could process. He continued to press on.  Finally, I said “look, I didn’t wake up one morning and say gee, I’d love to have MS along with a couple of other issues. I have a progressive disease. It’s the hand I was dealt. I had two choices. I could lay in a bed and wait for some ass to come by and throw dirt on me OR I could get up and avail myself of the options available like Willow to allow myself to be as productive as possible”. “As with all things, there are negatives and positives. In this case, the positives, outweigh the negatives”. “Does that answer your question?” He shook his head yes and we moved on 🙂

When I reflected on the exchange, I was flooded with emotion initially. In public, we do have to display a professional appearance. It took every once of strength I had not to burst into tears during this exchange. However, I did realize that people probably do have a misconception still that our service dogs are simply “working stock” and not the beloved, treasured, partners that they are. Who in fact, are showered with affection when appropriate like at home or in the car or when sleeping on top of you. Think about it, would you work tirelessly for someone you weren’t devoted to? And believe me the hours suck and the pay is horrible so it truly is an act of love….

And I couldn’t love HER more 🙂

~Willow’s Mom (TGIF!)

Blaise here…

Yup, I decided since I do all “the heavy lifting” for the Princess, I should have a say every now and then. Don’t get me wrong, I love the big girl and she does have her advantages. She’s extremely warm to cuddle with, she has banished Bor-ass (the bad cat) from the bed and she is happy to share her water dish and food whenever I ask. However, life did change when she came home.

I often hear people ask our mom about just that. what was it like bringing a service dog into a house with other pets. In our case, we had other dogs, 2 cats and 2 parrots. No, the birds, even Bor-ass doesn’t bother the birds. I mean, have you ever seen the beak on one of those things? They could take a paw off in a heart beat! We’re smarter than that. Anyway, when mom showed up with what we all assumed was a small pony we welcomed her warmly into our family. It is important to note though that we have always had new dogs and other animals in and out of the house so we’re used to it.

Princess Pants, as I call her, I think was a bit shocked at first. I think she must have thought she had been paired with the local zoo owner. But, being the amazing girl she’s proved to be, she walked in and took it all in stride. Quickly behaving as if she’d always been there. I was rather impressed.  She did however take MY spot next to mom on the bed but, we soon reconciled that by me then curling up with her and taking full advantage of her vast body heat.

I think what impressed me the most as it did mom was her ability to focus on her “job” when mom needed her even if one of the riotous Golden Girls is barking at her to play. She can stay laser focused on helping mom down the stairs, picking up bowls or whatever mom needs until mom gives her a release command. it’s pretty impressive. As soon as mom releases her with “okay” or “go play” she will literally roundhouse Meryet. It’s awesome! It takes a lot to focus on your job when “Mental Mindy” as we call her is “in your face” trying to distract you. Mom says that’s just one of the things that makes the big girl so special and why she’s able to do her job so well out in public. I guess being a house cat I never thought of that but, she does have to work in some pretty incredible places from what she tells me. Hospitals, stores, theaters and all kinds of places with all kinds of people and noises so I guess it makes sense that she can focus on mom despite what’s going on around her. I’ll never let on but, I’m pretty proud of her. A cat does has to maintain a certain aloof dignity….

I must also say, with all the advantages she presents for me her warmth, keeping me amused and employed.  I think what I love most about her IS what she’s done for mom. I see how she watches her and seems to know when mom needs her. I see her brace mom and help her out of a chair on a bad day. I see her helping her in the mornings and I know mom is falling a lot less. I also see how even though she’s in what was my spot on the bed when she’s sleeping next to mom, she occasionally opens her eyes and looks at mom with such love that I no longer mind that she took my spot. She was meant to be there and I’m now good with that. I love mom too, so seeing how much the Princess has made a difference for her is all that matters to me.  Well that and the fact that she is really warm to cuddle with. I mean, let’s be honest…:)

~Blaise

Yes, I do have those little kitty paws 🙂

Willow here….

Blaise (The good Cat) and I decided to take the computer away from mom when we heard her say “My head is going to explode!” I’ve sent the retrievers to fetch my Mutt Muffs just in case it actually does and it’s loud.

Which brings us to our first topic. Happy Fourth! However, apparently some dogs are not so happy about the celebration. Especially the fireworks. People have asked mom if she thought my Mutt Muffs could help and she thinks so. However, you do actually have to purchase them before the 4th of July. So don’t wait until next year and then ask mom again. She gets really mad when Blaise and I walk off with the laptop…..

The other topic we’d like to “cover” is how we dress as Service Dogs. Mom was very excited when she saw something that said “If your Service Dog is making things more difficult, then something needs to change.” We have very few access issues which mom attributes to a couple of things but mostly to the fact that I’m always in my SD/mobility harness which clearly identifies me as a Service Dog. I like to think it’s because I’m just so adorable…. While no, a vest is not required, mom doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to clearly indicate that your dog is a Service Dog. As well as indicate “Do Not Pet”, etc. Yes, there are some areas where heat is a concern but, mesh vests are available, leash wraps, etc. Her feeling is answer the question before it’s asked. Be responsible and accept the responsibility that comes with having a Service Dog. Why invite conflict? It’s also easier to educate the public and if need be file a complaint against a business if you as a handler have appeared as well prepared and professional as possible. The few times mom’s been asked about me she actually laughs and says “She’s a Service Dog” and then usually comments about the absurdity of hauling a 131lb Great Dane around otherwise. I must admit, the logistics of me are amusing at times. However, Mom says she wouldn’t trade me for the world and I know that’s true. The other issue is the response to inquiries. Be prepared. The ADA does allow that businesses can ask “what work or task has the dog been trained to perform?” Know the answer. Don’t take offense, don’t be reactive. If you choose to have a Service Dog you’ve chosen a tool that brings enormous benefit but, with that comes great responsibility.

Hope you all have a Happy and Safe Fourth! Also, please be mindful and considerate of any combat veterans when celebrating. Fireworks are not their favorite thing either…..

For now I’m off to see if the Golden Girls have found my Muffs just in case….. I also heard something about “nail day?” Ugh…I’m not a fan as I know she’s referring to my nails not hers. Mom gets to sit in a massage chair when her paws are done! I think I need to speak to my union rep about that…..Woof!

~Willow – Typing Courtesy of Blaise, The Good Cat (He has those little kitty paws)

Willow’s Mom here…

She’s demanding “comp” time so before she dials her union rep, I’m gladly giving it to her. She works hard and she so very much deserves it….

I had an MRI recently. Willow stays with an “alternate handler” while I’m actually in the magnet. The tech helping me to the table was intrigued by Willow. She’d never seen a Great Dane Service Dog before.

In the course of the conversation we spoke about why Great Danes make such amazing balance and mobility dogs. They’re the right size of course! We also spoke about why a dog? Well, as I’ve explained before, a cane just falls with you. A dog, stops you from falling. Also, god forbid if you do fall, the dog is trained to brace to help you get up. That’s the short explanation it really is more in-depth than that as I explain in our first blog entry.

What really struck me though was something else that came up during the conversation that I often forget about. The Pocket. The back pocket to be more specific.( A belt works ideally as well) To use for balance instead of an outstretched arm. I’ve always insisted on it if for example someone is helping me off a MRI table and Willow is not there. Why? Because it works!

Imagine if you will or even try it, if you have balance issues. Have someone extend a typical bent arm to assist. Notice that as to go to grab that arm, your shoulder lifts potentially throwing you off balance from the start. As you walk with them they’re normal movement is to “sway” their arms. Even trying consciously to avoid this, it’s not a “steady” platform. Now, Stand up and place your hand grabbing in the top of someones back pocket or waistband. Walk. You’re straighter, the “platform” is more stable (provided they wear pants that fit 🙂 ) and your gait is much more “balanced”. It’s so simple yet, it works.

So the next time you encounter someone who seems in need of assistance with walking/balance don’t offer your arm, offer your back pocket or waistband. Oh, if you don’t know them well, you might want to remove your wallet first…

Walk On…..

Willow’s Mom