It all started with a Tweet about a ridiculous bed. I mean, ridiculous. It was more like a studio apartment designed into a bed. Someone Tweeted “I believe the model is called ‘I’ve Given up.’”

It was a joke and it was funny. But a shitstorm ensued. Some in the disabled community (I’m disabled) pounced. Some were vicious. Hurling around words like ableism, disableism and God knows what else. Their argument? That the bed would be great for the disabled/chronically ill community and how dare the non-disabled community joke about it.

What it was, was a group finger wagging. A “How dare you!” What felt like a finger in the chest as you’re being lectured.

As a disabled person I commented that the bed actually would be a nightmare. It wasn’t accessible. Being mobility challenged, I certainly couldn’t get in or out of it. I saw absolutely no utility in it. And yes, I thought the joke was hysterical.

That’s all it took. I soon was attacked. Suddenly, I knew nothing about being disabled. Or so I was told by a woman with autism and others. Look, I don’t pretend to understand what it’s like to live being autistic. Don’t pretend you understand my experience and certainly don’t lecture me about it. One lighthearted woman who did get the joke asked me where was my sense of adventure? I thought that too, was hysterical. Visions of being trapped in the bed like a turtle on it’s back and the 911 call to rescue me from the bed from hell, had me laughing out loud.

However, here’s the bigger issue I noticed. We do need more education regarding all disabilities. How do we achieve that? Not by attacking people. Not by metaphorically sticking your finger in their chest and lecturing them. Not by accusing them of being ableist or disableist. You have a conversation.

You open yourself up to answer questions. You invite questions and you foster discussion to further understanding. Most people aren’t choosing to be insensitive or ignorant. Ignorant however, by definition is the lack of knowledge. Give them knowledge. You don’t do that in an angry, accusatory manner. You do that in a safe space. The same safe space you as a disabled person wants. I understand that as a community it’s been four years of sheer hell. But again, we need to educate not attack the people who don’t understand the disabled community and the challenges.

As for the joke? I still think it’s damn funny. Sometimes, you just have to laugh at life. After all, laughter is the best medicine.