It’s here. The precipice of the new year. A year I thought I would be celebrating with people. In person. Like we use to do. Complete with actual physical contact. Ahh, those foolish dreams. Or more correctly, those foolish people. The ones who have kept us in this nightmare. The anti-vaxxers. The science deniers. The selfish little people who simply couldn’t see past themselves.

January 19 marks the TWO YEAR anniversary of the day I purchased my first box of masks. I actually began locking down. Well before the rest of the country. My doctors and I had been following the data and knew what was coming. And we knew I was at high risk. It was decided that I needed to be prepared and safe.

In February 2020, I began lockdown more intensely. People were starting to pay attention but, it was getting comments such as “It’s just the flu.” Meanwhile in Europe, they already knew it wasn’t anything like “the flu.” China had actually provided the RNA of the virus to US in December/January and work on vaccines had begun. It wasn’t “the flu.” Yet, when the first cases were reported, our idiot in the WH proclaimed it would disappear. It didn’t. But, it set a dangerous precedent for those that believed whatever came out of that administration. It set us up for disaster. And that, is exactly what has occurred.

We all know the economic impact. Supply chain issues etc. But, there’s still the human element. I am an example of the human toll. And I’m not alone. Not by a long shot.

As an immune suppressed patient, I have developed no antibody response to the vaccine despite three full doses. Being immune compromised, that leaves me at extremely high risk. Therefore, my only option is lockdown. In the past 22 months, I haven’t stepped foot into a store, a restaurant, movie theater, nothing. The only places I can go are health care facilities and those are limited to essential in person visits only, such as infusions. I did recently attend a veterinary appointment with accommodations for my dog but, only because I knew every member of the veterinary hospital was vaccinated and masked. I also did not go through the lobby or interact with the public. Would I do it now? Probably not.

So what have I been doing? First, trying really hard not to form a group to rise up against those that got us here. Because yes, I DO blame them. Had people simply vaccinated, worn masks, distanced and prevented the spread, we wouldn’t be here. And that, is a fact. That, is science. And I wouldn’t still be locked down.

I’ve also been trying to remain sane. Living in isolation isn’t healthy. It isn’t. When you have physical issues and then you add the pleasure of trying to maintain mental health, things get interesting. Sour dough bread? Hard pass. I’ve set the oven on fire. Twice. Knitting? You can stab yourself with the knitting needles. Probably not the best idea. Sewing? Seriously?! I suture, I don’t sew. What am I going to make? A prairie dress? Now, if some deep skin lacerations appear, I’m in.

I did start out immersed in medical journals. Reading everything about Covid, designing a treatment plan should I contract it and following all the research. It was fascinating. Then it became depressing. I realized I couldn’t continue to do this.

I also purged my house. And I mean purged. I threw out and donated things I’ve since looked for only to remember, I’d donated it. But, I have no clutter and it was so cathartic. It was so extreme, at one point the dogs appeared worried. I think they feared they may be next.

My latest obsession is science and skin care. Not just slathering goop on your face but, what science is there to support making change in aging skin. Having access to medical journals, it’s become fascinating. I’ve experimented on myself and while some experiments have resulted in me looking like a trauma patient, it’s been interesting. Unfortunately, or fortunately, my face is hidden behind a mask.

I am still following the journals regarding Covid but, not as obsessively. What has encouraged me is the latest information regarding the newer treatments that hopefully will be available in the near future. Monoclonal antibodies to treat infection that actually are effective against Omicron and monoclonal antibodies to be used proactively in patients like me to protect us from infection. There’s even an oral treatment much like Tamiflu that’s been approved. Right now, access is an issue but hopefully, that will change Q1 2022.

So where do I go from here? Well, I actually have upgraded to a KN95 mask. I will continue to remain locked down until it’s considered safe. Which could be some time. I’m hoping to be able to access the monoclonal antibody treatment for patients like myself that developed no response to the vaccine but, thus far, we haven’t been able to obtain it.

Please understand that even with these treatments, we will still be living with a pandemic for probably two more years at which point we will transition to an endemic. That’s actually important. And you can impact that timeline. Vaccines, masks, distancing, anything that helps prevent spread.

I told my doctors when this began “I’ve survived Cancer multiple times, I have progressive MS, seizure disorder, AVMS, am anemic and god knows what else. I’m certainly not going to let this bullshit take me out.” And I stand by that. What I didn’t realize was the price I was going to pay to do so.

I look forward to the day I can safely hug my friends again. Safely step into a theater, a store, a casino. Until then, I will continue to try and remain sane. Try not to slap the idiot with their mask under their nose. Try not to haul off and just belt the selfish little twat who doesn’t believe in getting vaccinated. But if I do, thanks to my research into skincare, I’ll look fabulous in my mugshot.😉

Happy New Year!!